IF I AM THE CREATOR OF MY REALITY, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I CREATE THIS?! Most of us have a sense that we must be living out subconscious beliefs that are producing circumstances in our life which are contrary to what we desire. Indeed we are. And they are legion. Because these beliefs are unconscious, we cannot know specifically what they are until we bring them into conscious awareness. Once we can see them, however, the healing process has already begun.

A good starting point to begin to identify these errant beliefs so they can be transmuted is to question any disparity between what you actually believe and what you’ve been taught to believe. Much of what is going on behind the scenes exists because at some point we accepted certain beliefs as truth. And even if we don’t believe them anymore, they can still govern our decisions and our behavior in the present. We may have initially adopted these beliefs because they were taught to us as children by parents and other sources of authority. The only way to know whether we still ascent to these beliefs is to is to take a close look at the rules we follow. Examine them one by one and determine if they are our truths or someone else’s.

Living in real time, in this moment, means being mindful of what motivates our actions. It means feeling for the best, most pleasurable option available to us. That’s not what we have been taught in most cases. The teaching that most Black children receive is to put others’ needs and desires before our own. That’s what we’re taught that a good person does.

Because we are mental creators, blocking our acceptance of what feels good to us creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of lack and frustration. If your heart is pure and your motives are to do no harm, you need not worry that what feels good and right to you in the moment is somehow sinful.

Let’s identify a few of the primary culprits standing between us and our happiest, wealthiest, most peaceful life:

‣Can’t

This is the king of spoilers. When we say “I can’t”, we automatically close off all other possibilities. When you hear yourself using this spoiler, stop and ask yourself, “Why can’t I?” “What are my options?” A whole new world of possibilities will open up when we allow more options to become conscious. Experimenting with new ways of living and new ways of doing things accelerates our spiritual growth.

‣Have To

Close kin to “can’t”, saying “have to” is again invalidating all other possibilities in one fell swoop. There are very few things we actually have to do. People usually vehemently disagree about this and give examples such as “You have to eat.” My response is, “No, you can choose to let yourself starve.” The point is to trust your Discernment and only do seeming “have to’s” because if you choose not to, the consequences would be contrary to your highest good.

‣Should

This is the most insidious of the offenders. This is the one of the host of self-saboteurs that is most likely to cause us to act against our own self interest. Again, if you hear yourself saying that you should or should not do something, take a moment to ask yourself why.

You came here with a brain with which to reason and a heart with which to feel compassion. You never need to do or not do something because you’ve been taught that you should. Many of our “shoulds” come from religious teachings handed down and interpreted for us by others. Our highest authority, and the only valid one, is within, not without. Remember that “should” can always be replaced with “could” and make the conscious decision of what course you choose to take. Choose in each moment to do what you like and watch magic happen.

‣Because I Said I Would

We often don’t realize that just because we said we’d do something does not obligate us to follow through. You can change your mind as many times as you want so that when you act it is for the highest good of all concerned.

Doing things out of obligation is a major component of this saboteur. Often not doing something we said we’d do, particularly if it involves other people, feels like breaking a promise. And that, we’ve been taught, is to be avoided at all costs! Yet we need to understand that it is more damaging to ourselves and others to do something we said we would when we really don’t want to if doing it creates resentment or regret. This is a scary saboteur to practice letting go of but experiencing the lightness that comes with honoring our true feelings is confirmation enough that we have indeed chosen for the highest good of all concerned.

‣For Show and Seeking After Approval

We are social creatures so we can’t help but want others to think highly of us. We want them to think of us as a good person. But when we plan and calculate our actions based on what others might think of us, we cut off our creativity and originality, which are the highest expressions of our divinity. We prosper by listening for guidance from within and allowing our unique spirits to grace and bless the world. If we do that, the good that we already are will shine through on its own without our trying to please or impress anyone else.

These observations may sound selfish. And they are—but in a good way. They bid us to live authentically by honoring ourselves first and opening to all the possibilities that will lead us to our best life. They help us demonstrate for ourselves that we need not toil and strive to be happy and successful but instead to live in such a way that we let Spirit take the lead. Our Source is omniscient, omnipotent, infinitely abundant, infinitely loving and compassionate. Listening for our inner guidance and doing what makes us happy is the highest devotion to the Goddess we can offer.